Things I Would Love To Say As An IT Administrator...

I'm not an IT administrator but really am quite fed up with helping out on IT issues lately, so I have thought of a few things... some things that I wouldn't say but really am always tempted to:

Silly colleague: What's my password?
Me: password.
Silly colleague: Can I change it?
Me: No.

Silly colleague: I can't go online.
Me: Good.

Silly colleague: [look left, look right] Pssst, can you install Messenger for me?
Me: No.

Silly colleague: I think I've got a virus.
Me: No worries. [take out OS CD, put in tray, boot, format]. Oh, do you by any chance have any important data in there?

Silly colleague: My PC's got no power!
Me: The utilities board just reduced the price by 2.5% after increasing it by over 20%. You can expect their service to degrade. Blame them.

Silly colleague: I need a new PC. Mine's really old.
Me: Sure. Where's the cash?

Silly colleague: I've got software problem.
Me: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Hmmm... What else? What else?